Reject Pack

Released: 2014
Summary: A pack made available (unsure where) out of the Cards Against Humanity’s writers ‘best of the worst’.

White Cards:

  • My dick in your mouth.
  • Corn.
  • Carribbean Jesus.
  • Super yoga.
  • Ladles.
  • Ejaculating a pound of tinsel.
  • A heart that is two sizes too small and that therefore cannot pump an adequate amount of blood.
  • The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation.
  • Dividing by zero.
  • Playing an ocarina to summon Ultra-Congress from the sea.
  • Asshole pomegranates that are hard to eat.
  • Becoming so rich that you shed your body and turn to vapor.
  • Faking a jellyfish sting so someone will pee on you.
  • A sexy naked interactive theater thing.
  • A giant squid in a wedding gown.
  • Crawling into a vagina.

Black Cards:

  • You can’t wait forever. It’s time to talk to your doctor about ________.
  • The Westboro Baptist Church is now picketing soldiers’ funerals with signs that read ‘GOD HATES ________.’
  • What are two cards in your hand that you want to get rid of?
  • The elders of the Ibo tribe of Nigeria recommend ________ as a cure for impotence.
  • My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare for ________.
  • From WBEZ Chicago, it’s This American Life. Today on our program, ________. Stay with us.
  • What do you see?
  • Sir, we found you passed out naked on the side of the road. What’s the last thing you remember?