House Of Cards Pack

Official PDF: Here.
Released: 2013
Summary: Released online in 2013 to promote Season 2 of House Of Cards.

White Cards

  • 25 shitty jokes about House of Cards.
  • An origami swan that’s some kind of symbol?
  • A homoerotic subplot.
  • Forcing a handjob on a dying man.
  • Ribs so good they transcend race and class.
  • The sensitive European photographer who’s fucking my wife.
  • Carbon monoxide poisoning.
  • Discharging a firearm in a residential area.
  • Getting eaten out while on the phone with Dad.
  • Making it look like a suicide.
  • A much younger woman.
  • An older man.
  • Strangling a dog to make a point to the audience.
  • A childless marriage.
  • My constituents.
  • Punching a congressman in the face

Black Cards:

  • I can’t believe Netflix is using __________ to promote House of Cards.
  • I’m not going to lie. I despise __________. There, I said it.
  • A wise man said, “Everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about __________.”
  • Corruption. Betrayal. __________. Coming soon to Netflix, “House of __________.”
  • Our relationship is strictly professional. Let’s not complicate things with __________.
  • Because you enjoyed __________, we thought you’d like __________.
  • We’re not like other news organizations. Here at Slugline, we welcome__________ in the office.
  • Cancel all my meetings. We’ve got a situation with __________ that requires my immediate attention.
  • If you need him to, Remy Danton can pull some strings and get you __________, but it’ll cost you.