Summary: Originally released as 7 different packs throughout a “12 days of Christmas” theme.
- These low, low prices!
- Giving money and personal information to strangers on the Internet.
- A magical tablet containing a world of unlimited pornography.
- Piece of shit Christmas cards with no money in them.
- Moses gargling Jesus’s balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes.
- The Hawaiian goddess Kapo and her flying detachable vagina.
- The shittier, Jewish version of Christmas.
- Finding out Santa isn’t real.
- Slicing a ham in icy silence.
- Making up for 10 years of shitty parenting with a PlayStation.
- Swapping bodies with mom for a day.
- The Grinch’s musty, cum-stained pelt.
- Breeding elves for their priceless semen.
- Jizzing into Santa’s beard.
- Rudolph’s bright red balls.
- Congress’s flaccid penises withering away beneath their suit pants.
- The royal afterbirth.
- Having a strong opinion about Obamacare.
- People with cake in their mouths talking about how good cake is.
- A simultaneous nightmare and wet dream starring Sigourney Weaver.
- Being blind and deaf and having no limbs.
- [First Name Last Name]
- But wait, there’s more! If you order ____ in the next 15 minutes, we’ll throw in ____ absolutely free!
- Blessed are you, Lord our God, creator of the universe, who has granted us ____.
- Because they are forbidden from masturbating, Mormons channel their repressed sexual energy into ____.
- I really hope my grandma doesn’t ask me to explain ____ again.
- What’s the one thing that makes an elf instantly ejaculate?
- Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict’s Secret Struggle with ____.
- Here’s what you can expect for the new year. / Out: ____ / In: ____.
- Kids these days with their iPods and their Internet. In my day, all we needed to pass the time was ____.
- GREETINGS HUMANS / I AM ____ BOT / EXECUTING PROGRAM.