Fantasy Pack

Released: 2015
Summary: Someone’s mad at wizards.

White Cards:

  • Hodor.
  • Dinosaurs who wear armor and you ride them and they kick ass.
  • Freaking pan-dimensional sex with a demigod.
  • Bathing naked in a moonlit grove.
  • Kneeing a wizard in the balls.
  • Shitting in a wizard’s spell book and jizzing in his hat.
  • Handcuffing a wizard to a radiator and dousing him with kerosene.
  • Shooting a wizard with a gun.
  • A CGI dragon.
  • A mysterious floating orb.
  • Reading The Hobbit under the covers while mom and dad scream at each other downstairs.
  • A magical kingdom with dragons and elves and no black people.
  • A gay sorcerer who turns everyone gay.
  • A Hitachi Magic Wand.
  • A dwarf who won’t leave you alone until you compare penis size.
  • How hot Orlando Bloom was in Lord Of The Rings.
  • A ghoul.
  • A weed elemental who gets everyone high.
  • Make-believe stories for autistic white men.

Black Cards:

  • Your father was a powerful wizard, Harry. Before he died, he left you something very precious: ___.
  • Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by ___.
  • And in the end, the dragon was not evil; he just wanted___.
  • Who blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time?
  • Critics are raving about HBO’s new Game Of Thrones spin-off, “___ of ___.”
  • Having tired of poetry and music, the immortal elves now fill their days with ___.


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