Summary: Someone’s mad at wizards.
- Dinosaurs who wear armor and you ride them and they kick ass.
- Freaking pan-dimensional sex with a demigod.
- Bathing naked in a moonlit grove.
- Kneeing a wizard in the balls.
- Shitting in a wizard’s spell book and jizzing in his hat.
- Handcuffing a wizard to a radiator and dousing him with kerosene.
- Shooting a wizard with a gun.
- A CGI dragon.
- A mysterious floating orb.
- Reading The Hobbit under the covers while mom and dad scream at each other downstairs.
- A magical kingdom with dragons and elves and no black people.
- A gay sorcerer who turns everyone gay.
- A Hitachi Magic Wand.
- A dwarf who won’t leave you alone until you compare penis size.
- How hot Orlando Bloom was in Lord Of The Rings.
- A ghoul.
- A weed elemental who gets everyone high.
- Make-believe stories for autistic white men.
- Your father was a powerful wizard, Harry. Before he died, he left you something very precious: ___.
- Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by ___.
- And in the end, the dragon was not evil; he just wanted___.
- Who blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time?
- Critics are raving about HBO’s new Game Of Thrones spin-off, “___ of ___.”
- Having tired of poetry and music, the immortal elves now fill their days with ___.