Base Game (Australia)

White Cards:

  • 100% Pure New Zealand.
  • A bleached arsehole.
  • A brain tumour.
  • A cute, fuzzy koala, but it has chlamydia.
  • A decent fucking internet connection.
  • A didgeridildo.
  • A fair go.
  • A five-litre goon bag.
  • A foetus.
  • A Japanese whaling operation.
  • A literal tornado of fire.
  • A sick burnout.
  • A six-point plan to stop the boats.
  • A slab of VB and a pack of durries.
  • A stingray barb through the chest.
  • Alcohol poisoning.
  • All four prongs of an echidna’s penis
  • Americanization.
  • A soggy Sao.
  • Australia.
  • Ball-by-ball commentary from Richie Benaud.
  • Boat people: Half boat, half human.
  • Cashed-up bogans.
  • Chunks of dead backpacker.
  • Clive Palmer’s soft shitty body.
  • Contagious face cancer.
  • Crumbs all over the bloody carpet.
  • Daniel Radcliffe’s delicious arsehole.
  • Dirty nappies.
  • Doin’ it up the bum.
  • Dropping a baby down the dunny.
  • Fiery poos.
  • Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Queensland and dying.
  • Getting naked and watching Play School.
  • Getting so angry that you pop a stiffy.
  • Glassing a wanker.
  • Good-natured, fun-loving Aussie racism.
  • Half a kilo pure China White herion.
  • Having a Golden Gaytime.
  • Having a shag in the back of the ute.
  • Ice.
  • Inserting a jam jar into my anus.
  • Jehovah’s witnesses.
  • John Howard’s eyebrows.
  • Kids with bum cancer.
  • Liberals.
  • LYNX Body Spray.
  • Making up for centuries of oppression with one day of apologising.
  • Massive, widespread drought.
  • Millions of cane toads.
  • Mr. Squiggle, the Man from the Moon.
  • Nippers.
  • Nothing but sand.
  • Oestrogen.
  • Paedophiles.
  • Perfunctory foreplay.
  • Playing silly buggers.
  • Profound respect and appreciation for indigenous culture.
  • Rupert Murdoch.
  • Queen Elizabeth’s immaculate anus.
  • Scalping the Milkybar Kid.
  • Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.
  • Some bloody peace and quiet.
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  • Steve Irwin.
  • Summoning Harold Holt from the sea in a time of great need.
  • Taking a sheep-wife.
  • The big fucking hole in the ozone layer.
  • The bush.
  • The cool refreshing taste of Coca-Cola.
  • The Great Emu War.
  • The White Australia Policy.
  • Tony Abbott in budgie smugglers.
  • Total control of the media.
  • Twenty tonnes of bat shit.
  • Vegemite.
  • Vomiting into a kangaroo’s pouch.
  • Waking up half-naked in a Macca’s car park.
  • Wanking into a pool of children’s tears.
  • Whiskas Catmilk.
  • Wiping her bum.
  • Women’s undies.
  • Xenophobia.

Black Cards:

  • ABC presents “_: The Story of _.”
  • Are you thinking what I’m thinking B1? I think I am, B2: it’s _ time!
  • As my New Year’s resolution, I vow to give up _.
  • Channel 9 is pleased to present its new variety show, “Hey Hey It’s _.”
  • Crikey! Ive never seen _ like this before! Let’s get a bit closer.
  • Daddy, why is mummy crying?
  • I’m sorry, Sir, but I couldn’t complete my homework because of _.
  • In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the National Museum of Australia has opened an interactive exhibit on _.
  • In Australia, _ is twice as big and twice as deadly.
  • Life for Aboriginal people was forever changed when the white man introduced them to _.
  • Next on Nine’s Wide World of Sports: The World Championship of _.
  • Oi! Show us _!
  • Qantas now prohibits _ on airplanes.
  • The school excursion was completely ruined by _.
  • Today on Jerry Springer: “Help! My son is _!”
  • What broke up the original Wiggles?
  • What did I bring back from Bali?
  • What don’t you want to find in your Mongolian beef?
  • When I am a billionaire, I shall erect a 20-metre statue to commemorate _.
  • When I am Prime minister, I will create the Ministry of _.